When the Holidays Feel Dark: Finding Strength as a Single Person
Source: Deagreez / Getty
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year”—for most. But for many singles, the holiday season can feel different. Scrolling through social media, flooded with matching pajama sets and picture-perfect family gatherings, is a constant reminder of what we don’t have. Even if we understand that our relationship status doesn’t define us, the holidays can amplify feelings of loneliness, grief, or disappointment. For some, these emotions snowball into a sad and overwhelming stretch of weeks. If that’s where you find yourself, know you’re not alone. Millions of singles navigate these feelings during this season. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 117.6 million Americans—46.4% of U.S. adults—are unmarried; this includes those who are divorced, widowed, or have never married.
While the holidays may feel heavy, there’s still an opportunity for peace, clarity, and hope—especially for Christian singles.
Shift Your Perspective
How can we move from feeling sad and isolated to reclaiming the holidays as something meaningful? One way is to redefine what this season means for us. Our culture, especially through social media, often tells us where we should be in life, measuring success through romantic relationships and milestones. It’s easy to let these narratives take root. But as believers, we have a different anchor. Scripture reminds us that our identity isn’t found in societal expectations but in God’s love and purpose for us.
Take time this season to reflect on what God says about you:
- Beloved Child: “The Holy Spirit makes God’s fatherhood real to us as he whispers into our innermost being, ‘You are God’s beloved child!’” (Romans 8:16)
- Seen: “From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind…” (Psalm 33:13)
- Not Forgotten: “Even if a mother forgets her nursing child, I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” (Isaiah 49:15–16)
Let these truths reshape your mindset and renew your heart. Grounding ourselves in God’s word makes it easier to navigate a season that might otherwise feel defining.
Create New Memories and Activities
Family may look different for you this year, but that doesn’t mean the holidays have to lose meaning. What communities can you tap into?
For instance, I cannot travel to be with family this Thanksgiving, so I’ve decided to celebrate with friends instead. Friendsgiving has become a cherished tradition for many, offering space for connection and gratitude. Church communities can also provide a sense of belonging and support.
Be intentional about finding ways to gather with others and redefine what this season looks like for you.
Cultivate Gratitude
Gratitude has a way of shifting our focus from what we lack to what we have. Starting my mornings with a prayer of gratitude has transformed my mood, helping me see the small blessings I might otherwise overlook.
Take a moment to reflect on things to be thankful for: breath in your lungs, shelter over your head, the ability to read God’s word, or friendships that bring joy. In a culture constantly seeking more, pausing to thank God for what we already have can reframe our perspective.
Activities like journaling can also help. Write down your emotions, prayers, and hopes for the future. Invite God into that space and allow Him to reveal His purposes for you.
Remember the True Meaning of Advent
Amid the busyness and commercialism, let’s not forget what the holiday season truly represents. Advent invites us to reflect on the birth of Jesus—the ultimate gift of hope and redemption. Because of His birth, we have access to God and the promise of eternal life.
The Advent season is a time to reflect on the gift of grace through Jesus’ birth; let it fill you with gratitude and peace.
Closing Thoughts
Being honest with yourself and God about how you feel this holiday season is okay. Acknowledge the hard emotions, but don’t let them define you. Take steps to shift your perspective, create new memories, and embrace the true meaning of this season.
You may not be able to change your relationship status right now, but you can change how you approach this time. Reflect on who God says you are, and hold on to hope for what’s to come. With intentionality and faith, this holiday season can become one of growth, gratitude, and unexpected joy.
Sade Solomon is a NYC-based social media personality and multi-hyphenate creator who boldly and fashionably ignites authentic and candid conversations on topics surrounding intercourse, singleness, and abstinence. After embarking on her journey of abstinence in 2013, Sade began openly sharing her life-changing commitment on various online platforms while enlightening and inspiring many through her journey. In her book, Ready, Set, Wait, Sade peels back the layers of truth about navigating singleness and abstinence as a single Christian woman. Her work and commentary have been featured by Good Morning America, Harper’s Bazaar, Essence, Black Love, and XO Necole.
MORE FROM SADE SOLOMON:
How To Tackle Finances In New Relationships
Scriptures For Drawing Strength From God’s Word In Your Single Season
When the Holidays Feel Dark: Finding Strength as a Single Person was originally published on elev8.com